“The pessimist sees problems in every opportunity… Whereas the optimist sees opportunity in every problems”
After an 8 month hiatus, it feels good to be back writing here. During that 8 months of not writing here, life happened. I know that when I started this blog, I wrote about activities I enjoy, did, writing about failure and giving love everyday to others. Now, I want to write about how life really has dealt me with cards I unexpectedly didn’t think I was going to deal with currently.
Since June of this year, after 5 years with an organization I worked passionately and tirelessly for, I found myself sitting with my regional manager and an HR business partner in the new department I took a new position 6 months prior to, pulling me on a conference room Monday morning serving me my termination and severance papers with no cause. Informing me my position has been terminated due to restructuring. I sat in that boardroom while the contents of me being terminated are being pronounced. Once it was done, I was given the time to pack up my things and was escorted in my car. Before I drove, I sat for a moment processing everything what just happened and realized I didn’t get to say goodbye to my colleagues. I looked at my old organization’s logo one last time and drove away.
When I got home, I realized and said this out loud: I am now unemployed. Yes. It is the words I never expected saying about myself being at an age I am in. Lots of things went through my head that day that consisted the following: anger, sadness, rejection, disappointed and hurt. I was just dealt with an unexpected loss of a career, a regular income and a family I called a second home. Experiencing a horrible moment, we respond to it feeling panicked and distressed when everything is being realized. Life threw a curveball, the security blanket was taken away and you ask yourself: What do I do now?
The answer to that question is I took a nap and decided I will not sit idly by and let my the negative thoughts consume me so, I moved. I asked a friend of mine to go for lunch to talk about what happened. For a few hours, I poured my thoughts and feelings. It is always good to have a friend to talk to about these feelings so don’t hesitate to do that. IF you can’t find close friends to talk to because they are at work themselves, leave a message for them to give you a call but take yourself out of the house where you can be around people albeit, having lunch, sit on a bench at a park or walk around alone. I also found that if you can’t talk, WRITE down your current feelings. It does make you feel better. I also called, talked and reached out to old bosses, mentors and people I used to work with for references, advice and guidance. These people are the ones I work or have worked with at the same and different organizations. They were shocked, offered sympathies, encouragements and praises about my work and towards what happened to me. I am also forever grateful to have mentors especially the ones that are on an executive level. I was told by one of my mentors who told me the following words: This is NOT a failure. This is very important to know early because it helps us to process the situation a bit faster and to give us a head start of moving forward. It is also important (and I am learning this slowly everyday) to do this: ASK FOR HELP. Reach out to people who you think you can trust and help you through a difficult time.
“Do not park… It’s just an event”…. Make this event as a DRIVING FORCE… It’s only temporary”
When the day ended, it made me feel better the steps I had done to deal with what happened when it was fresh and new. But I knew I needed more time to process the situation I was in and grieve through it so I gave myself a few weeks of what happened to just let it be. I found that taking my time, talking (and repeating myself) to supportive people and spending time with family and friends, I am eternal and forever grateful, lucky and humbled being surrounded by wonderful and amazing people. This can also be a great reminder to yourself that going through a devastating moment of change, you will need to stand up, fight and move forward on your own as well. It can be a temporary setback, but I am a believer everything happens for a reason. The time I currently have right now while being unemployed (which is a LOT) gives you time to think and reflect: Who do I want to be when I grow up?. I am doing that and hopefully it will lead me to the answers I am looking for.
“Keep flipping rocks to see what’s underneath. Sometimes you get a pleasant surprise.”